Doctor's appointment today

Today was chemo & radiation today. They got the bloodwork back that was taken yesterday and turns out Jerry is low on basically every type of bloodcell in your body, so they were unable to give him chemo again. He will be going to the hospital for a 4 hour transfusion tomorrow before radiation which the doctors are hoping will help get all of his blood cells back up to where they should be. He is also now down to 119 lbs which is concerning to everyone since it is a 5 lb loss in less than a week. With the help of a "caseworker" at Kaiser, they are pressing for an MRI to be done of his brain. No one can answer why he is having so many hallucinations.

Jerry again took a fall today after bumping into a table and has major bruising on his chest, arms, and underneath his chin. It's hard getting an independent man to wait on assistance with every step he takes. Luckily no broken bones. The doctors are are still trying to heal a wound on his arm from a previous fall. They are just having to pack & protect it since his skin is too thin & fragile to stich.

On the positive, Jerry received a call from someone he loves very much in Arizona. It looks as if he is going to be able to come visit with him next week. My mom & Jerry are thrilled. Jerry has also requested brownies. I just put the kiddos to bed.. so I'm going to see if I can get some made- that will make him smile.

Not a very good report to give

I just got back from visiting my mom & Jerry. Since Jerry was up (every time I've come over he is in bed) I wanted him to be able to see the girls for a little bit. Things have changed a lot since I last saw him. Physically he still looks the same (very sick) but mentally, he has deteriorated to the point where it's almost as if he is suffering from alzheimers. He couldn't even carry a conversation with my 3 year old. I talk with my mom every evening about how the day went and she has been telling me just how quickly he's gone down hill since starting the every day radiation, but now I was able to see first hand just how bad he has become. Jerry doesn't really remember much that goes on in a day, he's having panic attacks, when he does get a small period of sleep from not coughing, he thinks someone is trying to kill him or he won't wake up at all. His delusions have become an every day thing; conversations he's not having or people that aren't really there. He just isn't "there" anymore.

As far as physically, he's still at 124 pounds where he has been for about two weeks, which is suprising since my mom says he really won't eat. He cannot move around on his own and is totally dependent on my mom to get him around. He got up two days ago without my mom and fell down the small stairs outside their home (thankfully he is okay, only a little bruised.

At this point, Jerry still wants to keep pushing forward with the Chemo & radiation that is clearly killing him. He wants to feel as if he can still beat this when at this point, it is looking bleek. My mom & the doctors are allowing him to keep going. He is only 6 treatments into his 30 before they will even CT scan him again to see if the radiation is even shrinking the tumors. I think very soon though a decision will be made to stop all treatments, maybe as soon as the next several weeks.

If you are a family member or close old friend, please make arrangements to come visit as soon as you can. Please email me directly at Loraynekay@aol.com or call me at 951-738-9412 if you have any questions.

Still hanging in there

For a week now Jerry has been going to radiation weekdays. He is supposed to be having Chemo once a week too, but again yesterday was told put chemo off for another week since he's not doing well. They will see how it looks next week. I haven't spoke to my mom yet to get today's report but as of yesterday he had 3 very rough days & nights in a row. He was up vomiting all night the night before. He hasn't been sleeping because of his coughing. He has not been eating very much or at all for several days. The doctors still seem as if it is still a good idea to keep pressing forward. They will not do another CT scan until 20 radiation treatments (which I think is extreme) to even see if the radiation is helping. He has become even more weak and pretty much bed-bound. My mom has become an around the clock care taker and is installing baby monitors in the bedrooms this week so that she can hear when he needs her in the middle of the night. To get out to the doctors appointments my mom has to get him in & out of his wheelchair and get it in & out herself, which has been hard for her to do since she herself is not in the best of health. I'm still trying to bring over meals when I can. Jess has been there somewhat but isn't seeming to be much help; sometimes picking up or doing some dishes. I just keep praying; everyone seems to be suffering so much.

Non-small Cell Squamous Cell Carcinoma

After much prodding into my mom I was able to get the exact name of Jerry's cancer so that I myself could go online and do some reasearch. Exactly what Jerry has is NSCLC Squamous cell Carcinoma. It makes up of 30-35% of all lung cancers, the leading kind of lung cancer, normally due to smoking, asbestos, or radiation exposure. This cancer is the leading cause of cancer mortality rates in both men & women.

He is in stage IIIA and based on all the facts and figures that I could find, he has a 20-30% chance of survival. All lung cancers have an average survival rate of 16% over 5 years.

They went into meet with the doctor today & receive his 3rd round of chemo to be told they'd like to give him another week before administring the chemo. They are concerned that he's lost an additional 9lbs in 3 weeks. They will also be visiting the radiation specialist tomorrow to see if he's now a candidate for that. I've posted some photos at Jerry's request, some of his friends in Arizona asked to see what he looked like without hair. The first photo was taken Easter Sunday, the second was taken weeks ago back when my mom shaved his head.

Where do we go when we die?

That was the topic at Church this morning. Jerry was a trooper & made it to church with the family today for Easter. The sermon was amazing. Probably very much what Jerry needed to hear being so very ill. I know that he has been very angry with God wondering why he would receive a lung when he would be stricken down with such agressive cancer. I know that he has got alot of questions that he is going to have to press into. During today's invitation, Jerry took the walk, my mom wheeled him down. I'm hoping that he felt comfort and will put the Lord first in his life as he is on this journey. My heart feels releaved that I now know where he is going if & when he is gone.

The latest scan results

Jerry & my mom waited nearly a week to receive test results from last weeks CT scan. Jerry was told yesterday that the large mass in his lung seemed to have shrunk ( a little) however it did not look as if there was a change in his lymph nodes. Jerry is back today getting another CT scan. Tuesday they have another Dr.'s appt. & his next round of Chemo. Hopefully on Tuesday, they'll be given more information. At this point, my mom is growing quite frustrated and will be pressing into the doctors for more answers.

Jerry is still so weak that he isn't getting out of bed often. He is up coughing almost all night long. He is pretty miserable and isn't able to do much to give him much comfort.

We look forward to getting him to church and our house for Easter Sunday, as Bill will be able to get Jerry around in a wheelchair so that my mom doesn't have to do it all on her own.

Still waiting on CT scan results

This photo was taken just a few weeks ago on March 23rd. Jerry had just recovered from his first chemo treatment. He was feeling pretty good and was able to still walk around a bit. Flash forward to now, he is still loosing about 2 lbs. a week, can't sit or stand for more than a few minutes at a time, needs help keeping balance walking down the hall, and is seeing hallucinations of Sophia throughout the house. Last Thursday he went in for another CT scan as of today, results have still not been called into them. We're waiting to hear if the chemo has taken any effect on him so far. Best case scenario, the cancer is shrinking so they would be able attack with radiation. At this point though, it's on everyone's mind, will he be able to survive that, much less more rounds of chemo?

I'm bringing the girls over as much as I can as they help keep his spirits up. Trying to help with meals and errands when I can, but I'm not able to do as much as I'd like with my 3 little ones in tow. At my mom's request, if you are an old friend & especially family, please call in & check on him, say hello. He hasn't heard from anyone. It would really make his day.